The latest leak from Captain Flash shows that his staff are the exact opposite of base property specialists! Captain Flash writes:
I can make even more money if I recruit some more staff! I won’t bother training them, of course, so I need agents who will be ruthless target-hitting machines right from the off… here’s a quick job description!
Your role will be to hit targets and screw landlords, vendors, tenants and buyers for as much money as you can. Dirty tricks, dodgy contracts, and bulldog-like determination to wear customers down until they sign on the dotted line are a must.
- Greed and ego to make The Apprentice contestants look well-adjusted
- Excellent sales techniques, including hard-selling, misinformation, and psychological warfare
- Ability to hit financial targets through any means necessary (without getting caught)
- Ability to fob off enquiries convincingly (truthfulness/accuracy not required)
- First-class obfuscation skills
- Complete lack of moral compass or conscience
- Loud tie
- Too much hair gel
- Too much aftershave
- Obnoxious phone manner
Must NOT have:
- Industry knowledge
- Recognised qualifications
- Customer service skills
Tired of Captain Flash and his performing monkeys? base property specialists‘ staff have expert knowledge and are here to help you – whether you’re a London landlord, tenant, or looking to sell your property. Don’t take our word for it: read how we’re regulated, reviewed and rewarded.
Tags: Captain Flash