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Leaked: Captain Flash’s Dodgy Landlord Job Description

Captain Flash Flyer 5

 

The latest leak from Captain Flash shows that his staff are the exact opposite of base property specialists! Captain Flash writes: 

I can make even more money if I recruit some more staff! I won’t bother training them, of course, so I need agents who will be ruthless target-hitting machines right from the off… here’s a quick job description!

The role

Your role will be to hit targets and screw landlords, vendors, tenants and buyers for as much money as you can. Dirty tricks, dodgy contracts, and bulldog-like determination to wear customers down until they sign on the dotted line are a must.

Essential criteria

  • Greed and ego to make The Apprentice contestants look well-adjusted
  • Excellent sales techniques, including hard-selling, misinformation, and psychological warfare
  • Ability to hit financial targets through any means necessary (without getting caught)
  • Ability to fob off enquiries convincingly (truthfulness/accuracy not required)
  • First-class obfuscation skills
  • Complete lack of moral compass or conscience

Desirable criteria

  • Loud tie
  • Too much hair gel
  • Too much aftershave
  • Obnoxious phone manner

Must NOT have:

  • Industry knowledge
  • Recognised qualifications
  • Professionalism
  • Customer service skills

Tired of Captain Flash and his performing monkeys? base property specialists‘ staff have expert knowledge and are here to help you – whether you’re a London landlordtenant, or looking to sell your property. Don’t take our word for it: read how we’re regulatedreviewed and rewarded.

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About the Author

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base property specialists is an independent, award winning, London Estate & Letting Agent with a range of other property services which opened in 2004.

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